On my last post I bragged about not being a FNG anymore. As a friend of mine told me once “I’m sure you will remain FNG for some of them.” It turned out to be true. There is this boy, maybe 21, who works there as a driver too. I don’t like the way he looks at me, and, gosh!, I hate his fucking patchy beard – dude if you can’t grow a beard, no shame in shaving, because you look like a douchebag now. Let’s call him Mr. Zag. Why Zag? Because it rhymes with douchebag!
Once he picked on me (when I was FNG), wanted me to wash the dishes when he was screwing around. I didn’t do it. Last night however, was different. Zag was first in line for delivery, and I was after him. I was standing behind him and I could see the monitor and the orders. First delivery order came in, he printed the delivery tag and was walking around the store, showing the tag to the group saying “oh! This is a trailer park.”
Not sure what the fuck was funny about a trailer park order – trailer park people also eat pizza, right? Anyway, I was thinking, OK, he is first so he gets the trailer park order and next is mine. To my surprise he came to me, laughing, saying “you are going to the trailer park.”
Me: No! YOU are going to a trailer park.
Zag: No. You are going…
Me: but I’m after you, you are first and this order came in first, so YOU ARE going.
Zag: No. I’m going to the other one…let me show you
And he walked to the monitor trying to bullshiting me. I challenged him:
Me: I am after you, how come I get to go sooner than you?
Zag: This IS how it works.
Me: oh! IS IT?
Zag: YES IT IS.
I looked at his disgusting patchy beard and walked off. Guess what? I got the trailer park order. A sexy young girl opened the door, but no tips! Before that, I had had a great night, but fuck Zag, he jinxed me. When I came back the manager was there. Super nice guy. He asked me how my night was going.
Me: well, since you asked… how do we go about the delivers and who is next?
Manager: it is based on your login, and the orders. Sometimes you might be next in line, but your order comes out late, so second in line gets to go first.
Me: OK! Makes sense. I just wanted to learn and understand how it works. And can you go back and check to see who gets what…
Manager: Why? Someone cut in line?
Me: Yes.
Manager: Who?
Me: Zag.
Manager: I need to put a stop to this shit. He has done it to her (pointed to another driver). He has done it to someone else that they called me when I was off.
I have to say, when the manager is working – which is almost every night, everything is in order, an no one fucks around.
He walked to Zag, and he was cutting pizza again. Later that night I was talking to another driver and the manager noticed that, and told me that he asked Zag if he knows what he is doing and knows how to distribute pizzas to drivers. I think now that I alerted him, he will keep his eye open to catch Zag.
While he didn’t condone Zag’s action, he advised us to be careful with these guys because “they know the area better than you two, and they might send you to crappy neighborhoods if they don’t like you.”
I’m not 21, and I’m not looking forward to challenging my co-workers or pick on them. I’m just here to make some extra cash, but if a douchebag patchy beard guy wants to try me, I’m not afraid to challenge them.
At this point, I was a tad scared, but more frustrated. So, I found a street light, and looked at the delivery slip. Fucking great! It was a new customer and it was a cash order. I called the phone number on the delivery slip… “the number you have dialed does not exist.” Oh crap! Now I was scared. It had all the elements of a suspicious order and I was the driver. (Remember when I told you 
Inherently Funny! 