Tag: Google Map

A proposition?

by Inherently Funny Guy!, posted in Pizza Delivery Stories!

You probably heard or even know about the old porn cliche about the pizza guy who delivers pizza and fucks this cute girl – oh you haven’t heard about it? My bad, but you know about it now.

 

So, it was a busy night, and I think I was doing boxes when I heard my name. If you didn’t know, you can add a note or special instructions like “please call when you arrive” or “don’t knock!” or funny things, or sometimes they ask us to draw something inside the box – because some people think they are funny. Now I revealed this secret to you, please don’t abuse it. Also, never ask us to write something offensive, we won’t do it.

 

I got the order and the note was: “send your cutest driver???” I was immediately thought about that old cliche! I got into my car, and I noticed the name and of course the note came from a guy! Whatever, these are probably some stupid kids trying to be funny – That was my thought.

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The apartment was located in a gated community, I didn’t have the code, but there was another car in front of me and they opened the door. I found the place, walked up to door and knocked. Holly shit! This cute, short girl, soft spoken with short black hair opened the door. The lights were dimmed, and a classic music were playing in the background, In addition to that, the cute girl was wearing just a robe! It was the hardest delivery ever in terms of eye contact and keeping straight face – impossible! Obviously, these kind of event happens when you are married, right?

 

I greeted her, because I’m polite. She was a bit surprised to see me though. I noticed that, and asked if she ordered pizza. She said her boyfriend did – Oh! She had a boyfriend and was probably making herself ready for him! Or maybe they were just craving for pizza! “Alexa! Number 2 please” she talked to Alexa! She then counted and told me that her boyfriend went down to open the gate. I told her what happened at the gate and how I got in. I gave her the food and she tipped me.

 

On the way out, I noticed a guy was waving for me – probably her boyfriend. He was on the phone, perhaps talking to his girlfriend and thinking about smoking hot pizza!

Church Parking Lot

by Inherently Funny Guy!, posted in Pizza Delivery Stories!

I got this order, new customer, cell phone with an out of state area code, and it was cash order. Great! According to the training videos and in situations like this, either I or who ever got the order are supposed to call back to confirm the address and the order. Look at it as a security check, make sense right? But nobody does that. We are busy man, we don’t have time to call back.

 

I put the address to my GPS, and I usually check the area on the GPS to see where am I heading. I realized the address is a church, but I thought well this is around Christmas and church people gotta eat as well, nothing suspicious.

 

When I arrived the parking lot was empty and fucking dark! This was the first red flag for me. Do you remember the guy that I told you who ended up in an empty parking lot and got robbed? If you don’t, at that point I was remembering him and I told myself, dude! Don’t be that guy.

 

I drove around the building, on the far right, behind the church building, I noticed a car with two guys in it. I was driving slowly to see if I can see anyone at the church. They got out of the car as soon as they saw me and looked at me. I looked at them and passed them. I stopped under the streetlight, where everyone could see me, and then I dialed the cell number and got this message: “the number you dialed does not exist.” another red flag. So, I drove to the next safe place, Jack in the Box!

 

You know you are so desperate when your safe place is Jack in the Box parking lot. I called the number one more time, and got the same message. So, I called the store and explained the situation and they asked me to come back; canceled the order, and an army of hungry drivers, were delighted!

 

P.S.: Before you start driving, check out where you are going on Google maps. It takes a few seconds, but you would know, if it is a house, apartment, school, funeral home, IHOP (I have a story to tell about IHOP as well) or an empty parking lot. Whatever you do my fellow drivers, DO NOT go to empty parking lot!