Tag: tip

Don’t be an asshole!

by Inherently Funny Guy!, posted in Pizza Delivery Stories!

This post is again related to tipping. The other night, one of the drivers came in and he told us that his past three trips, he didn’t get any tips. That’s fine, I mean it is not fine, but it is better than 30 cents tip, right? Yes, someone gave me only 30 cents!

 

Last night I had two no-tips trips. I didn’t like it, but at least mine was only two trips not three. It is winter and cold, and this chain won’t let drivers wear jackets or beanies. You can buy jackets from them and pay it with your paycheck. Here is my argument, while many of the drivers are living paycheck to paycheck, it is unfair to sell them a jacket instead of letting use theirs. If they can’t afford the jacket, and they get cold, they would miss a shift or two and it means less money for their families. If they show up to work sick, they might get the customers sick. Either way, I believe it would be a good idea to let drivers wear a  beanie or wear their own jacket.

 

Mondays are always slow, people had had enough pizza Thursday and Friday, so they don’t eat pizza again on Monday, what a shame! So I got this order to deliver to a hotel. I had delivered to hotels and sometimes they wait outside for you, other times you have to go to their rooms. The total order was $22.70. This one, I had to go to her room. It was on the fourth floor at the end of this long hallway.

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This fat lady opened the door, got her pizza and lava cake, and signed the receipt, I wished her a good night and walked off to the elevator. And it was then when I was struck by her tip: 30 CENTS! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! As I said, if you don’t want to tip, don’t tip, but don’t fucking insult me. You can keep you damn 30 cents, because it appears that you need it more than I do asshole! You know what happen when you tip like that lady? As the result of eating lava cake and pizza crest, your fatty liver will kill you one day!

 

Again, if you don’t want to tip, then don’t. It is better if you don’t tip at all than act like an asshole tightwad – enjoy you full of carb and sugar cake, that thing will kill you!

 

A proposition?

by Inherently Funny Guy!, posted in Pizza Delivery Stories!

You probably heard or even know about the old porn cliche about the pizza guy who delivers pizza and fucks this cute girl – oh you haven’t heard about it? My bad, but you know about it now.

 

So, it was a busy night, and I think I was doing boxes when I heard my name. If you didn’t know, you can add a note or special instructions like “please call when you arrive” or “don’t knock!” or funny things, or sometimes they ask us to draw something inside the box – because some people think they are funny. Now I revealed this secret to you, please don’t abuse it. Also, never ask us to write something offensive, we won’t do it.

 

I got the order and the note was: “send your cutest driver???” I was immediately thought about that old cliche! I got into my car, and I noticed the name and of course the note came from a guy! Whatever, these are probably some stupid kids trying to be funny – That was my thought.

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The apartment was located in a gated community, I didn’t have the code, but there was another car in front of me and they opened the door. I found the place, walked up to door and knocked. Holly shit! This cute, short girl, soft spoken with short black hair opened the door. The lights were dimmed, and a classic music were playing in the background, In addition to that, the cute girl was wearing just a robe! It was the hardest delivery ever in terms of eye contact and keeping straight face – impossible! Obviously, these kind of event happens when you are married, right?

 

I greeted her, because I’m polite. She was a bit surprised to see me though. I noticed that, and asked if she ordered pizza. She said her boyfriend did – Oh! She had a boyfriend and was probably making herself ready for him! Or maybe they were just craving for pizza! “Alexa! Number 2 please” she talked to Alexa! She then counted and told me that her boyfriend went down to open the gate. I told her what happened at the gate and how I got in. I gave her the food and she tipped me.

 

On the way out, I noticed a guy was waving for me – probably her boyfriend. He was on the phone, perhaps talking to his girlfriend and thinking about smoking hot pizza!

People Who Don’t Tip

by Inherently Funny Guy!, posted in Pizza Delivery Stories!

First of all, and to be clear, I was one of those people against tipping. I always tipped because society says I have to, yet I believed servers are working for the restaurants and the owner should pay them enough. They are not my/customers’ employees and you and I shouldn’t be responsible for their income – it is not fair. Also, me being a Quentin Tarantino die hard fan I used to quote Mr. Pink in this opening scene from Reservoir Dogs. Also, did you know that Americans tip at restaurants has rooted in slavery?  

 

Alright, I don’t want to argue about tipping, I tip and so should you; end of story! Here’s a secret about me, this pizza delivery job, is my first ever job in food industry. Yes, I never ever worked in a restaurant, because I dislike it. How did I survived college? Well, I had on-campus and off-campus jobs, but never applied/interested in restaurants/fast food and food business in general.

 

A year or maybe two years ago when I did Uber, Uber just added tip option to its app. Some folks did tip me even before that option, and I liked it – no shit! Having said all of these, the people who work in food and restaurant business full-time, and they make a living off of tips, should always respect and follow this unwritten law. I mean they should know better, right?

 

I got this order one rainy night, and when I put the address on my phone I noticed it is IHOP! Again, it was a new customer, but was paid by credit card. Usually when people pay with cards, they have the option to add tips at the time of order or tip when they receive the order at the time of delivery. In this case, they didn’t tip when they ordered, which is perfectly normal.

 

Long story short, I arrived and called the phone number. I told the guy that I’m outside, and should I walk in from the main entrance or maybe kitchen door? He didn’t know about the order, but I heard someone’s voice who told him that they ordered pizza and he told me that he’ll be out in a second.

 

I saw him walking out, and I got out of my car, got the pizza out and gave him the receipt to sign. He autographed it and gave it back to me. They had ordered five pizzas and the total was about $35. I was thinking they’d probably tipped me $5. I got back to my car, and looked at signed receipt and my tip was $0.00; I’m not fucking kidding.

 

I was upset, and I was thinking, they are living off of tips, hence they should know better. I wasn’t late, I was very professional. I’m not sure why they did that, but I wasn’t pleased.