Uber Eat – Inherently Funny!

First of all, and to be clear, I was one of those people against tipping. I always tipped because society says I have to, yet I believed servers are working for the restaurants and the owner should pay them enough. They are not my/customers’ employees and you and I shouldn’t be responsible for their income – it is not fair. Also, me being a Quentin Tarantino die hard fan I used to quote Mr. Pink in this opening scene from Reservoir Dogs. Also, did you know that Americans tip at restaurants has rooted in slavery?

Alright, I don’t want to argue about tipping, I tip and so should you; end of story! Here’s a secret about me, this pizza delivery job, is my first ever job in food industry. Yes, I never ever worked in a restaurant, because I dislike it. How did I survived college? Well, I had on-campus and off-campus jobs, but never applied/interested in restaurants/fast food and food business in general.

A year or maybe two years ago when I did Uber, Uber just added tip option to its app. Some folks did tip me even before that option, and I liked it – no shit! Having said all of these, the people who work in food and restaurant business full-time, and they make a living off of tips, should always respect and follow this unwritten law. I mean they should know better, right?

I got this order one rainy night, and when I put the address on my phone I noticed it is IHOP! Again, it was a new customer, but was paid by credit card. Usually when people pay with cards, they have the option to add tips at the time of order or tip when they receive the order at the time of delivery. In this case, they didn’t tip when they ordered, which is perfectly normal.

Long story short, I arrived and called the phone number. I told the guy that I’m outside, and should I walk in from the main entrance or maybe kitchen door? He didn’t know about the order, but I heard someone’s voice who told him that they ordered pizza and he told me that he’ll be out in a second.

I saw him walking out, and I got out of my car, got the pizza out and gave him the receipt to sign. He autographed it and gave it back to me. They had ordered five pizzas and the total was about $35. I was thinking they’d probably tipped me $5. I got back to my car, and looked at signed receipt and my tip was $0.00; I’m not fucking kidding.

I was upset, and I was thinking, they are living off of tips, hence they should know better. I wasn’t late, I was very professional. I’m not sure why they did that, but I wasn’t pleased.

Well hello! I think the title says it all, but let me start from the beginning and give some context, shall we? You can call me Joe, I have a good full-time job. I like my job and life is good. While my day job pays for my family expenses, I have been thinking about a side hustle – because who doesn’t like extra money? That, and I had a few short term goals as well. For example, with the money from part time job I could pay off my smaller loans or buy the gadgets I like – I like gadgets! I like driving, and I drive fast – at the same time I always obey the law wink wink!

So about a year ago, I tried Uber for a few months. I loved it mostly because I got to meet new people, and enjoyed chatting with them. Uber might be good in bigger cities, but in the small, compact valley I live in, it wasn’t that good, and people didn’t always tip. So I thought “Maybe I’ll deliver food”. I tried Uber Eat…and fuck that shit! Don’t even get me started! While this is not a how-to-make-extra-cash type of blog, after some research, I decided to try pizza delivery, and here I am.

As I said, I’m only doing pizza delivery part-time, and unless it suddenly turns into a lucrative income, it’s only temporary. During my short time delivering pizza, some scary and funny stuff has happened. So, I decided to share them with all of you. As of now, this is a temporary blog, and I will update it as long as I work there. Also, this blog is meant to be funny and sarcastic, so please don’t get fucking offended.

After I applied online and did this stupid self assessment thing, I, with a bunch of other new hires, attended an orientation. The most important part of the orientation and training videos was safety. They went over different scenarios (all true by the way). They talked about suspicious orders, suspicious addresses, fake phone numbers, and how one driver ended up in an empty parking lot, got beat up, and they stole his car. When we heard these stories, another new driver and I were like, “What kind of moron goes to an empty parking lot?”. But you know what? We spoke too soon!

Anyway, while those videos and scenarios were sometimes funny or stupid, they made me worry. Long story short, we watched some training videos and went on a couple of rides with other drivers. From there….it was my turn to be your “Delivery Specialist” (you gotta love my title) and deliver your order!

Tag: Uber Eat

People Who Don’t Tip

Prelude!