Every time I hear the word womanizer, which I don’t hear that often, Britney Spears’s ‘Womanizer’ starts playing in my head. Images of her lying naked on the shower bench… every freaking time! Anyway, we all have a reputation and I personally am very conservative in the workplace when it comes to relationships. I’m not like crazy couples having sex in the bathroom at the company’s Christmas party – yeah! That’s actually happened. Or making out with a random guy while I’m waiting for my Uber after another company party – This too has happened.
I treat women with respect and try not to ask anyone out, and just keep it professional and business originated. I know you are laughing at me and thinking, dude! Lots of hot chicks in any workplace, why not date them? And my answer is you are right! But I’m not on the market anymore.
I think I’m drifting from what I was going to tell you. The point is, I never considered myself a womanizer until that day. One of the tier one clients was going to visit our new office. This is a company that everybody knows and I myself was a huge fan of them and have been watching them since I was a teenager. Very popular across the board, so we wanted to make the most of it and create a great experience for them. I was working on catering breakfast and snacks, reservation for lunch and dinner, working with other departments for meet and greet, etc.
One of my colleagues who knew them better told me two things, that while these guys are coming from the East Coast and a very blue state, I better not make any political comments, and that they drink a lot – fine by me, I planned to indulge in my favorite food and dessert then. They arrived the night before and showed up at the office early in the morning. We went through the agenda and everything was going according to the plan – I was happy and they seemed to be happy and very pleased with us. For lunch, we went to a nearby restaurant, nothing fancy, and came back and went through the afternoon schedule.
For dinner, I had booked this fancy, and expensive restaurant. I wanted to impress them, you know! And I did impress them, chic decor, fancy menu, elegant dishes, and handsome waiters, not to mention the drink’s menu. They were about 10 of us, and they all started with drinks, except me. I got Dr. Pepper, my favorite drink! They almost finished their first drink, when I went to the restroom. When I came back our waiter was serving the second round. Now. keep in mind that this place has two bars, one was closer to us, and the other one across from where our table was located. The waiter came back, with this huge glass of cocktail, super fancy. It has two colors, I mean the drink inside had two different colors – gosh! I wish I had a picture of it.
Everybody stopped talking and all eyes on me. I told my buddy next to me:
- Did you order another one?
- I didn’t order anything. I still have my first one.
When the waiter saw that we were confused, he looked at me and said, this is yours! I lagged and said no! It is not. This must be a mistake. At this point, one of the contacts who sat close to me intervene and asked me:
- What did you order? Did you go to the restroom or to the bar?
- Restroom and I have no idea. I don’t drink.
I thought they were messing with me, so I was laughing. The waiter left and everybody was asking me about my drink and what kind of cocktail I ordered. I was very confused but curious to know who ordered that for me. I mean it was an expensive drink, so I didn’t think they would spend that much money just to prank me. I couldn’t even call it a prank. So, I called out the waiter and said, who ordered this while the whole table was listening and they were as curious as I was if not more. He said someone from the other bar ordered this for you! And our table erupted in wow! And laughter.
From where I was sitting, I couldn’t clearly see the other bar and my friends kept asking me to drink and then walk over there to find out who was the secret admirer. I didn’t drink it but walked over to the other bar and approached one of the bartenders, who was smiling, giving me the vibe that he knew something. I asked him about the drink and who ordered it and he said they just left. I didn’t even ask if it was a guy or a gal or a group of them. I mean I didn’t want to know if it was a guy.
Walking back to our table I was thinking that on the bright side, I did impress them big time! Now, they have a great memory and they will tell their colleagues once returned to their office and who knows, maybe they will come back and visit us again, renew their contract, might add new products because now they know they have this womanizer, cool dude taking care of their account. I would call it a success!
That night, as soon as I arrived home I checked Craigslist Missed Connection, hoping I could find my secret admirer but didn’t see anything. I convinced myself, whoever ordered that for me, is probably drunk and won’t post anything new, so I monitored Craigslist for the next few days. I got nothing, but my client asking about that and following up with me on every damn call that we had since then. To date, I really have no clue who ordered it, but my usual suspect is my buddy. Now that I’m thinking about it, it had to be them, and the fact that I was paying with the company credit card makes me thinking, they weren’t worried about wasting money on an expensive cocktail. At the end of the day, I was happy that I got what I wanted: to create a memorable and unforgettable experience!
Inherently Funny! 